To serve is my entire reason for living but this does not mean if I were to be so incapacitated that I could barely think, that my reason for living would fade. It is a mind-boggling, utterly undeserved privilege and honor to serve the exalted Lord in the tiniest capacity. In fact, serving him in minute ways – rather than spectacular ones that attract human recognition – is the purest and the most eternally rewarding form of service (Matthew 6:1-6,16-18). Moreover, it is a particular honor to suffer for the One who suffered for us (see Christian Insights into Martyrdom and Persecution):

Acts 5:40-41 . . . Summoning the apostles, they beat them . . . They therefore departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for Jesus’ name.

I used to imagine that the unique blessings of suffering apply only to persecution, but I was wrong. If, out of respect for the God who gave me life, and the Son who gave his life for me, I choose not to despise that precious gift, throwing it on the trash heap by killing myself, the suffering endured through remaining alive is never pointless, but is a profoundly meaningful, love-charged expression of my devotion to him.