My heart aches for the many who feel failures because they have enthusiastically offered themselves to God and faithfully slogged on year after year and yet God has declined their offer and left them to serve in far less impressive ways that they had hoped. It seems God has left them to languish in the shadows while others appear to bask in the limelight of his favor. They had hoped to make God proud but feel neglected. They had longed to light up God’s eyes but now it seems they are just too ordinary.

Is God really like that? Does he ‘love’ average Christians in a bland sort of way and gets more excited about those to whom he gives special gifts and opportunities? I have smashed that atrocious lie in many a webpage. You’ll find them listed in A Revelation of God’s Personal Love for You. It’s time, however, to confess that although those webpages have helped many people, they are largely the product of my own prolonged battles with feeling neglected and less loved by God than Christians used of God to touch so many more people than me, or who have special experiences with him or who seem to hear from him far more clearly than I do.

I recall Billy Graham in an interview indicating he was quite bewildered as to why God had used him to win significantly more people to the Lord than other evangelists whom he considered to be equally devout and competent. Like me, you probably share a similar bewilderment, but in our case it is why others win so many more souls, get far bigger audiences, have more dramatic spiritual experiences, and the like.

Let’s begin by addressing the devastation of feeling overlooked by God because others seem to hear from God far more clearly or often or dramatically.

I have ever so slowly come to terms with others having experiences I envy, but over the years I have known people I felt devastatingly inferior to spiritually and yet, ironically, some of those I envied actually envied my walk with God! The green-eyed monster always makes the grass seem better in someone else’s field, and it crushes us with needless despair.

Not even those who have unusually vivid and dramatic spiritual experiences are quarantined from confusion and temptations to sometimes doubt that they are hearing from God. For example, I know someone who was hearing so clearly from God that through obeying what he told her she underwent a powerful healing of a crippling problem she suffered. I was so in awe that I overlooked the fact that the whole experience had begun with her mistakenly rebuking the voice of God as being that of a demon. That’s a pretty fundamental mistake! Nevertheless, it did not stop God, nor her. The Lord eventually convinced her it really was him and from there the miracle began.

Another friend whose ability to hear from God had staggered me over and over ended up having a fake Jesus appear to her. Although visually indistinguishable from the real Jesus who had often appeared to her, the fake was unmasked when, in a vision, he touched her inappropriately. Sexual arousal ripped through her body. In shock, anger, fear and horror, she pushed ‘Jesus’ over off a roof in her vision. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before she saw through the deception and discerned that it was not really Jesus but an imposter. As a child, she had been victimized by a satanic cult and the cruel attempt at deception had stemmed from this. She refused to let this defeat her but rejected the fake and remained faithful to the real Jesus, who continued to appear to her.

On another occasion Jesus was deliberately aloof from her. She felt hurt by this until he explained that her not receiving his comfort would end up motivating her more than ever to do what it takes to heal.

Times when we feel God has let us down are usually the very times when God is doing something particularly deep and necessary in us.

No matter who you are, you can expect seasons of spiritual confusion, doubts and feeling cut off from God. Baby Christians might get away with it for a while but eventually we are all led of God into experiences that force us to learn that 2 Corinthians 5:7 applies to every Christian: “We live by faith, not by sight.”

Just as it is only weaklings who have never endured hard exercise, so it is only weak, immature Christians who have never battled doubt, fear and despair. To envy those whose glowing testimonies reveal they have had it easy is like an Olympic champion envying losers who never know the daily grind of tough training sessions, nor the agony of exerting themselves to the brink of human endurance.

Losers always have it easy. Those who condemn themselves to being weaklings have all the fun. They know nothing of aching muscles – nor the glory of achievement. The God who made the physical realm is the same one who made the spiritual realm. “No pain, no gain,” applies even to the crucified, now glorified, Son of God who agonized in the garden and was publicly ridiculed on the cross as a loser.

Like a mirage driving insane someone dying of thirst in the Sahara, the great illusion is that signs from God would lessen one’s doubts and give one an easier spiritual ride. It seems unbelievable that signs and divine assurances would not help, but they are like pouring water in a bucket with gaping holes. You’ll think you’re an exception and that the impact of divine confirmations will not do a vanishing act for you, but there are no exceptions. To envy those who receive signs is like envying a gambler who boasts of his big wins and never mentions his even bigger losses.

For more help with discerning God’s leading, see The Thrilling Mystery of Hearing from God

Other Reasons for Feeling Spiritually Inferior

Riddled with doubt

For much encouragement, see:

Help When Doubt Knocks

Being hard on oneself

I have found that the most common reason for Christians being hard on themselves or even loathing themselves is that they have suffered spiritual abuse. Particularly disturbing is that they are usually not even aware that they have been subjected to abuse and typically they think they are actually being godly by beating themselves up. This breaks God’s heart. For much needed help with this, please read:

I Hate Myself! Bible Help for Christians with Spiritual Depression or Frustration

Self-Image: Bible Help

Keep falling into sin

One of the most important things is to focus on God’s great love for you and not let deceptive spirits trick you into thinking that God frowns on you when you fall into sin. Yes, God is disappointed, but when a little child with good parents runs off and falls, what’s the first thing he does? He looks to mommy or daddy for comfort. You, too, should run into Daddy’s arms for the comfort you need. God is on your side. He cares deeply for you. Your spiritual enemies, however, want to make you feel uneasy about running to God. They know we instinctively recoil from anyone we fear might be angry or displeased with us and we will keep that person at arm’s length. Your enemies want you to be standoffish from the only One who can truly deliver you and defeat their attempts to bring you down. They don’t want you to rejoice in God’s forgiveness but to feel miserable and isolated from the warmth of God’s comfort.

For encouragement when you keep falling, see:

Life’s Mysteries Explained

Scrupulosity

An atrocious past

For much encouragement, see:

Turning Wasted Years into Blessing: Jesus’ Astounding Power to Turn Evil into Good

Encouragement for Christians

Forgiving Yourself

The opposite situation

People like me who were brought up in a Christian home and never rebelled don’t have impressive “before” and “after” testimonies. No one stands in awe of our testimony of how God saved us from addiction, depravity or whatever. As astonishing as it seems, this lack of attention can make us feel inferior. Perhaps nothing so vividly demonstrates the ridiculous levels the deceiver will go to when attempting to discourage us and tempt us to feel inferior

God not using you as much as you crave

In my favorite book I have written much to encourage those of us who feel inferior or discouraged or less valuable to God or less loved of him because our ministry seems less important or less used of God than those of certain other people. You can read the book online or even hear an audio version but if, like so many others, you don’t feel inclined to read it all (you’re welcome to my pity party – no one else seems to want to come), I’ll further serve you by providing extracts that focus specifically on this issue.