‘Peeping Tom’ David

2 Samuel 11:2-15 At evening, David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. From the roof, he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to look at. David sent and inquired after the woman. One said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, Uriah the Hittite’s wife?” David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in to him, and he lay with her (for she was purified from her uncleanness); and she returned to her house. The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, “I am with child.” David sent to Joab, “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” Joab sent Uriah to David. When Uriah had come to him, David asked him how Joab did, and how the people fared, and how the war prospered. David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” Uriah departed out of the king’s house, and a gift from the king was sent after him. But Uriah slept at the door of the king’s house with all the servants of his lord, and didn’t go down to his house. When they had told David, saying, “Uriah didn’t go down to his house,” David said to Uriah, “Haven’t you come from a journey? Why didn’t you go down to your house?” Uriah said to David, “The ark, Israel, and Judah, are staying in tents; and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open field. Shall I then go into my house to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing!” David said to Uriah, “Stay here today also, and tomorrow I will let you depart.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day, and the next day. When David had called him, he ate and drink before him; and he made him drunk. At evening, he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but didn’t go down to his house. In the morning, David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah. He wrote in the letter, saying, “Send Uriah to the forefront of the hottest battle, and retreat from him, that he may be struck, and die.”

‘Lover-boy’ Solomon

1 Kings 11:3-4 He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. When Solomon was old, his wives turned away his heart after other gods . . .

‘Fish-breath’ Jonah

Jonah 1:3,7,15,17 But Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa, and found a ship going to Tarshish; so he paid its fare, and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. . . . They all said to each other, “Come, let us cast lots, that we may know who is responsible for this evil that is on us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah. . . . So they took up Jonah, and threw him into the sea; and the sea ceased its raging. . . . The Lord prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

Sleazy Jacob

Genesis 25:29-31 Jacob boiled stew. Esau came in from the field, and he was famished. Esau said to Jacob, “Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am famished.” Therefore his name was called Edom. Jacob said, “First, sell me your birthright.”

Genesis 27:6-19 Rebekah spoke to Jacob her son, saying, “Behold, I heard your father speak to Esau your brother, saying, ‘Bring me venison, and make me savory food, that I may eat, and bless you before the Lord before my death.’ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command you. Go now to the flock, and get me from there two good young goats. I will make them savory food for your father, such as he loves. You shall bring it to your father, that he may eat, so that he may bless you before his death.” Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. What if my father touches me? I will seem to him as a deceiver, and I would bring a curse on myself, and not a blessing.” His mother said to him, “Let your curse be on me, my son. Only obey my voice, and go get them for me.” He went, and got them, and brought them to his mother. His mother made savory food, such as his father loved. Rebekah took the good clothes of Esau, her elder son, which were with her in the house, and put them on Jacob, her younger son. She put the skins of the young goats on his hands, and on the smooth of his neck. She gave the savory food and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob. He came to his father, and said, “My father?” He said, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?” Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done what you asked me to do. Please arise, sit and eat of my venison, that your soul may bless me.”

Two-faced Judah

Genesis 38:11-19,24-26 Then Judah said to Tamar, his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father’s house, until Shelah, my son, is grown up”; for he said, “Lest he also die, like his brothers.” Tamar went and lived in her father’s house. After many days, Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died. Judah was comforted, and went up to his sheep shearers to Timnah, he and his friend Hirah, the Adullamite. Tamar was told, “Behold, your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” She took off of her the garments of her widowhood, and covered herself with her veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in the gate of Enaim, which is by the way to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she wasn’t given to him as a wife. When Judah saw her, he thought that she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. He turned to her by the way, and said, “Please come, let me come in to you,” for he didn’t know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” He said, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” She said, “Will you give me a pledge, until you send it?” He said, “What pledge will I give you?” She said, “Your signet and your cord, and your staff that is in your hand.” He gave them to her, and came in to her, and she conceived by him. She arose, and went away, and put off her veil from her, and put on the garments of her widowhood.  . . . About three months later, Judah was told, “Tamar, your daughter-in-law, has played the prostitute. Moreover, behold, she is with child by prostitution.” Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burnt.” When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “By the man, whose these are, I am with child.” She also said, “Please discern whose are these—the signet, and the cords, and the staff.” Judah acknowledged them, and said, “She is more righteous than I, because I didn’t give her to Shelah, my son.” . . .

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