Grantley Morris

Your website is truly inspirational. I have read many topics from the net-burst.com site and enjoyed them all. Thank you!

I would never assume that my story would be worthy of a net-burst.com topic. I’m just doing what I think God is asking of me in sharing the following with you.

I used to suffer from a sleep condition called sleep paralysis and sleep paralysis with hallucinations. Jesus healed me of this several years ago and I am so thankful to him.

I was about 15 the first time I experienced it. I had taken a nap on the couch on a lazy afternoon and when I awoke I found myself unable to move a muscle. I thought it strange but was not particularly alarmed. Eventually, I was able to move my index finger a little and, shortly after, the paralysis completely left. The whole experience lasted about 15 seconds.

Over the next four years, such experiences would occur off and on, never lasting more than 30 seconds. It would usually occur just as I was about to wake up, or wake up and roll over – only I could not roll over. Sometimes I could open my eyes; sometimes I couldn’t. Having no explanation for it, I simply learned to live with it.

One Saturday morning it occurred as I was wakening up. I tried to move my finger, as I had learned this helps me to “fully wake up”. This time, however, a strange thing happened. I seemed to “roll out of my body.” I got out of bed and walked down the hall and into the bathroom. I flipped on the light switch but the lights did not come on. Then suddenly I was back in my bedroom, awake but unable to move. Eventually, I fully awoke and got up, feeling very strange. For the first time in my life I felt very uneasy about these experiences. I could hardly believe what had happened. I kept asking myself, “Did I just have an out of body experience? Did I just walk around the house with my body still in the bed?” It was so surreal and I could find no explanation.

Thereafter, such experiences would occasionally happen, always in the morning when the sun was up. Eventually, I learned to live with it, too. I even reached the point that when I tried to turn on the light and it did not come on, I would realize I was “out” while my body was still in bed. One time, I tried an experiment in the midst of the experience. I decided to go outside, but after opening the front door and stepping out, I was back in my parent’s neighborhood, not my own. At that point, I was more in a dream state than in an out of body state. There was a woman across the street. She noticed me, so I went to talk to her. Who she was or what we talked about, I do not remember, only that she seemed familiar. Then I fell back into a deep sleep. “So much for my experiment,” I thought.

At the age of 19, my nightmares began. “Nightmare” seems like such an understatement, but it is the only word I have. I’m not trying to be melodramatic but there is no way to convey how truly frightening these experiences were. The first time was the worst. Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up unable to move. I then became acutely aware of a presence in my room. It was hovering above me at the foot of my bed. I sensed that it was full of fury and hatred that was directed fully at me. Somehow I knew it was an extremely malevolent spirit. The evil it radiated was beyond description. Being a Christian, the only thing I could think of doing was to invoke the Lord’s name. So in my mind I shouted, “In the name of Jesus Christ, demon be gone!”

Well, it did not go away and I could feel it was laughing at me. Then it started to move closer to me and it ripped the covers off my bed. I could feel its anger and hatred and it was overpowering. I honestly thought it was going to pick me up and drag me to hell. Somehow, I was able to jump out of bed. I ran down the hall into my parent’s room, screaming. I must have been experiencing an “out of body” again, because I was then back in my own bed. The being was still there, even angrier than before. Again it ripped the covers off of me and came at me. Again I jumped out of bed and ran down the hall into my parent’s room. Again I was back in my own bed. Again it was still there, full of anger. This happened a third time before I was finally able to wake up. It was over. I was covered with sweat and my fists were clenched tightly around my bed sheets, grasping them at my neck.

The entire experience had only lasted about 30 seconds, but it was the longest 30 seconds of my life. The next morning my parents never mentioned anything about it. Why would they? I had not woken them and had not been physically in their room that night. It would be several years before I ever talked about this to anyone. I did not like thinking about it. I tried to forget about it and push it out of my mind.

Soon after, I was able to move out of my parent’s house into my own apartment. I was hoping that my parent’s house was haunted or something and that after I moved, I would be free. Well, my new place was just as “haunted” and I continued to have such experiences and even more frequently. Sometimes there would be one presence, sometimes there would be many. Sometimes I would feel an intense pressure on my chest. It almost felt like something was trying to get in. Once, I saw blood all over my arm. Sometimes I would have these experiences twice a week. Sometimes I would go months without one. It seemed random. The only constant was that the presence or presences were extremely evil and violent and that they hated me intensely.

It was several years before I ever mustered the courage to talk about this to anyone, but I had finally had enough. I talked about it with a Christian leader and we prayed together. He even kept in touch with me for quite some time. After that, my attacks subsided substantially but did not disappear completely. Finally, after nine long years, at age 28, I got relief. God revealed to me what was triggering these episodes. For reasons I don’t need to expound here, I was often extremely depressed in my youth and I would contemplate suicide. My fantasies of suicide sometimes even “comforted” me. I don’t think I would have ever gone through with suicide because of my faith, but it did feel good to fantasize about it. I would sometimes think how upset people would feel after I was dead, for not having been a better friend to me. I am now very remorseful about these fantasies, but at the time they felt good. Sometimes I would lie in bed for a long time before going to sleep, having murderous thoughts toward myself with feelings of self-hatred and self-pity. As I recalled these times, it was as if a light bulb suddenly went off in my head. On the very nights that I had wallowed in self-hatred, I would have these episodes. Wow!

Why it took me nine years to finally make this connection, I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that it was God who showed this to me. Through my sin of wallowing in self-hatred and contemplating suicide, I was opening doors for demonic attack; inviting demons to torture me, even though I did not realize it at the time.

As soon as I understood this, I completely stopped fantasizing about suicide. It was a no-brainer: if all I had to do to be free was to stop those fantasies, then of course I would. What a simple solution for a very complicated condition! Since that day, I have never again seen demons in my sleep, and it is a wonderful feeling to get ready for bed knowing I will sleep peacefully.

After that, I would occasionally get depressed and thoughts of suicide might enter my mind, but as soon as they did, I would immediately push them out. I know what lies down that road, and I will never travel it again.

One other thing I need to mention is why on the first night I was not able to effectively rebuke the demon. This is how I now understand it as God revealed it to me: during my times of great self-hatred, instead of walking with Jesus I was running away from him. I was actively and knowingly sinning. So obviously I could not use his gifts. Even though I still loved Jesus, I had moved outside of his protection and unknowingly invited the demonic. No wonder that demon laughed at me that first night. I probably seemed very humorous and pathetic to it. Nevertheless, even though I could not defeat the demon, Jesus still protected me. No physical harm ever came to me during these nightmares and, thank the Lord, once I stopped wanting to die, the nightmares stopped. I finally got relief just before my breaking point. God always knows what we can handle and never gives us more than that.

It was not until a few years later that I stumbled upon a website about sleep paralysis and I suddenly discovered that it is common. Sleep paralysis with hallucinations is not nearly as common, but still fairly frequent. Learning that many people have been through very similar experiences was very therapeutic. And with that, my healing was almost complete. All that is needed now is for me to help others heal.

I’m not claiming that everyone who has thoughts about suicide or who has sleep disorders will start experiencing sleep paralysis or sleep paralysis with hallucinations. I’m simply sharing my own experiences, in humble obedience to God, so that one day my story may help someone else.

Additional Thoughts by Grantley Morris

Some of Eric’s comments as to what he believes weakened him in his attempt to resist demons is reminiscent of the critical first words in the following Scripture:

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Emphasis mine.)

A friend of mine who has experienced very many such attacks has also had intense battles with suicidal thoughts. He believes that if, when experiencing sleep paralysis with hallucinations, one tries to explore what one can achieve “out of the body,” it might give demons a foothold in one’s life.

So far, I have done little more than share one man’s experience, in the hope that you might glean from it something relevant. If you suffer from sleep paralysis, however, there could well be elements of your situation not covered by this webpage. I long to do better, but for that I need your help. If you have additional comments or insights about this topic, I invite you to email me, Grantley, at demons@net-burst.com

Related Pages

Help for Insomnia & Sleep Problems

How to Cope with Nightmares & Bad Dreams

Your Sex Dreams: Normal, Demonic or Highly Revealing?

Demons: A Sane Look at a Perplexing Subject

When is Suicide / Euthanasia Morally Acceptable For Christians?

Not to be sold. © Copyright, 2011, Grantley Morris. May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.com  Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.

[Much More!] [Bless & Be Blessed by Facebook] [Daily Quotes] [My Shame] [E-Mail Me]