My highly experienced friend, Stephanie Goldberg, comments:

‘People find it hard to accept assistance with those day to day things that they feel are their responsibility. Doing the dishes while someone rests, making a pot of coffee, or bringing over dinner which can be reheated, can be incredibly welcome, but difficult for the person to ask for. If you know the person well enough, don’t offer, just do it. You might, for example, phone saying, “I’m on my way to the market before I see you. What can I pick you up?” Respect their right to refuse, but often they find it a great relief to not have to battle with deciding whether or not to ask you.’

Be aware, however, that many people have developed a personal way of doing housework which they consider to be the only correct method. It can be hurtful to wash someone’s car, for instance, and instead of thanks be blasted for not using the right cloth. This can test you to the limit. Anticipating possible problems by asking ahead of time can help. Merely coping with your questions, however, can put a heavily burdened person under extra pressure. So be prepared for a possibly bumpy road, but the benefits are worth the risks and pain.