I suspect peoples attitude to my physical presence comes from a combination of my looks, body odors, body language, choice of clothes, and the less than perfect way I string words together in spontaneous speech. Even some negative aspects of my looks dont particularly show on my photo, such as my yellow crooked teeth, my balding hair and how skinny I am. I often feel as if people think I am ugly, but I suppose the objective truth is more neutral and I simply dont physically attract people. When I think of all the deformities and handicaps that are possible, I know I have much to be grateful for, and my psychological suffering is rather senseless. Nevertheless, the pain refuses to budge. Moreover, it explodes into a bigger problem than need be, whenever I am so foolish as to focus on myself instead of on my glorious Lord and on the people he asks me to love. Most of us, to varying degrees, battle such feelings.
In showing my photo I will tease you a bit. Feedback reveals that some people enjoy this attempt at humor and some find it annoying. I guess if I analyze why I presented it this way, it is because of my great reluctance to show my face, either in person or by photo, and I hope that maybe you will tire of it and not bother to proceed. Also, I think I felt that maybe if I prepared you for the worst, you would see me as looking a little better than you expect, whereas without any comment you would see me as looking worse than you had expected.
I can only conclude from the way people seem to treat me that there must be things about my physical presence that either repel people or at least fail to attract or appeal to them. I have recently come to realize that I strongly deserve the way people seem to treat me because I, myself, have been guilty of the most ungodly attitude of judging people by their physical appearance. Research indicates that almost all of us do this more than we realize, but my attitude has been quite shameful.