Why Alters Feel an Exaggerated Sense of Responsibly for the Welfare of Others

Little children – and likewise alters formed at that age who have not had the opportunity to grow up – have a natural tendency to blame themselves for things they had nothing to do with. Many, for example, think it must be their fault if their parents split up. Frequently, this natural tendency is cruelly inflamed by abusers.

Abusers are often terrified of getting caught and riddled with guilt over their despicable acts. To get the spotlight off their guilty conscience and to help lower the chance of their victims going to the police, they do all they can to fool their innocent victims into thinking they are to blame for the abusers’ crimes. And since abusers are almost always older and more knowledgeable, their little victims usually regard the abusers as infallible sources of truth. So confused children usually believe their abusers – especially as the false accusations are often driven home by terrifying threats and/or severe punishment that they would do almost anything to avoid. Moreover, abusers usually do their utmost to make their victims terrified of displeasing their abusers in any way.

Alters subjected to this end up with such an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the welfare of others that they are hounded by the belief that even unwanted events completely outside their control must be their fault.

Still more layers are added when it is their grown-up children for whom an alter tries to act as alter. Even without Dissociative Identity Disorder, most mothers tend to feel significant false guilt over the way they reared their children, and they often suffer an exaggerated sense of responsibility for their adult children’s welfare. They also tend to find it hard to grasp that their children are grown up and are now fully responsible for their own decisions and welfare. Add to this the fact that alters who have been in hiding for years obviously find it significantly harder than other parents to comprehend their children’s real age and capabilities. They might know it intellectually, but will tend to keep reverting to thinking of the children as being younger. Besides alters often missing out on seeing their offspring grow up, young alters tend to identify with the children more than other parents would and this identification leads them think of their offspring as being closer to the age they see themselves as being. Consequently they are more likely to expect older children to react to parental decisions as the little alters would react. So alters often need continual, gentle reminding that their children have grown.