Nevertheless, to my way of thinking, someone who through Christ has triumphed over sexual abuse not only has not been cheapened by the trauma but has been made more precious. In my view, through empowering them to forgive what seems unforgivable, Christ has made that person a hero worthy of great honor. Moreover, I believe that person is far better equipped to bring comfort to hurting people than the average person will ever be.

Any normal man looks forward to his honeymoon, but there is a down side to consummating a marriage with a virgin. A sensitive man will be concerned about the pain a woman might feel when losing her physical virginity.

For a woman, it could be quite a romantic thing to willingly submit to physical pain for the sake of the one she loves. Inflicting pain, however, is quite another thing, and this is what the man is required to do. Inflicting pain and making love are rather incompatible. At a time when a man most wants to give pleasure to his darling, he’s faced with the prospect of causing her discomfort.

I know a man who for this reason felt somewhat relieved to know that his wife-to-be was not physically a virgin. (In his eyes, however, as in Christ’s eyes, she was spotlessly pure – more so than the ‘purest’ non-Christian virgin. No one could exceed the purity she had through her union with Christ, and no non-Christian could approach the purity Christ has bestowed upon her.)

The woman he planned to marry had been raped. He knew her past trauma and present fears. Surprisingly, he found the thought of having sex with her far more romantic and sacred than if she hadn’t had her bad experience. Her willingness to relate to him sexually despite her hang-ups and fears reflected the depth of love and trust she had in him. Moreover he saw their future sex life as his unique privilege to complete the healing the Lord was bringing about in the one he loved. Others might have contributed to her recovery, but the Lord had entrusted to him a unique role.

Not to be sold. © Copyright, 1997, 1999, Grantley Morris. Not to be copied in whole or in part without citing this entire paragraph. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings by Grantley Morris available free at the following internet site www.net-burst.com Freely you have received, freely give.