Thoughts & Feelings: A Christian Perspective

Why we Grossly Exaggerate the Importance of Thoughts & Feelings

To worry about being hard-hearted, for example, is as ridiculous as worrying about not worrying enough. If you are worrying about this, it proves not that you are worrying too little but too much. To worry about feeling hard-hearted means you have become so addicted to worry that the moment you stop worrying, you start worrying about not worrying.

If, like most people, who think love, joy and peace are feelings, it is because you have missed the Bible’s meaning of those words. It shows that what you mean by those words is not what God means but what worldly people mean when they use these words.

Over and over the Bible commands us to love, rejoice and “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18), “Make every effort to live in peace with all men . . .” (Hebrews 12:14) and so on. To command anyone to feel something is ridiculous. People can only obey commands to do things, not to feel things. Feelings are involuntary and they are natural, not spiritual.

It is easiest to see the stark difference between the worldly definition and God’s definition of these words by looking at what romantic novels mean by love and comparing it with what Jesus meant when he told us to love our enemies. The Bible defines love not by what one feels but by what one does: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you . . . But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” (Luke 6:27-28,35). Again, when Jesus was asked to explain what it means to love one’s neighbor he gave the parable of the good Samaritan in which love is not about feelings but about looking after a wounded traveler (Luke 10:27-37). James 2:16 demonstrates how useless and unimportant feelings are when it says, “If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?”

Likewise, joy and peace are about what one chooses to do and believe, regardless of what one feels.

God’s Word places love, joy and peace with the fruit of the Spirit:

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. . . .

This proves that when God speaks of love, joy and peace, he is referring to spiritual qualities, not fleshly/carnal emotions. They come from the heart of God, not from the human heart. All of the fruit of the Spirit are virtues, not feelings. This applies as much to the first three as to any of the others. Just as patience and self-control (also fruit of the Spirit) are displayed when one feels explosive anger but refuses to be dominated by that feeling and instead controls it, so love, joy and peace are not feelings but are manifested when one rises above feelings to choose to act virtuously.

It is also a common mistake to think one should use feelings as an indicator of divine leading. To slightly adapt what I have written elsewhere:

The enemy of our souls is the master deceiver because that is all he can do. The devil cannot change reality. He cannot change the fact that God loves you with all of his unlimited love and that Christ died for the sins of the entire world, which has to include every sin you have ever committed. So all he can do is mess with your feelings, hoping that you will start to believe them rather than believe in the cleansing and forgiving power of Christ and the love of God.

Even if you feel you are beyond God’s forgiveness, that feeling is a lie from hell as serious as claiming that Christ did not die for the sins of the world.

Until you realize that false feelings will continue no matter how devoted you are to Christ, you’ll be so vulnerable to false feelings that the tempter will keep piling them on more than ever. None of us ever gets to the point where we are no longer tempted. Unwanted thoughts and feelings would only slightly taper off if the tempter has tried so often without it ruffling your feathers that he begins to believe that such an attack will never succeed with you and it is a complete waste of his time to keep playing with your feelings. If in the past he has had a lot of success out of confusing you with false feelings, however, it will take a long while before he is convinced that this approach will no longer fool you.

We cannot stop powerful feelings that are contrary to God’s truth – even Jesus was tempted – but we can repent of caving into the temptation to accept those feelings as truth. We should repent of being so carnal as to think that a mere feeling, rather than God’s Word, indicates spiritual truth. From now on, we should steadfastly refuse to believe that any feeling, no matter how strong, persistent and convincing, is a more reliable source of truth than the Bible.

Another big mistake people make is to assign magical powers to thoughts. All sorts of weird thoughts flit through the human brain. They are just part of being human and often they are temptation, but what matters is not whether bad thoughts come but whether we act on them or go out of our way to cultivate them. Even if we were to act on bad thoughts, however, Jesus is eager to forgive us. He died precisely so that we could be forgiven of all sin.

It is sheer superstition to think that our thoughts affect other people or that unwanted thoughts affect our relationship with God. An anxiety disorder is the most common reason for people falling into such superstitious fear. Anxiety keeps nagging away at us, causing us to worry about things that feel so real and yet are actually of no concern. It is not unusual for people to suffer from anxiety disorders without realizing it. You need to read other pages on this website (such as Forever Lost Your Salvation? Spiritual Fear & Worry Examined and When I Feel Guilty or Beyond Forgiveness) to understand the weird things that anxiety disorders produce.

More Help Required
People keep e-mailing me, desperate for a quick fix so that they can get the relief they crave without having to read all these webpages. They are wasting their time and mine, however, because in all my years of anguished prayer and fervent seeking, I have failed to find an alternative to having to keep reading all these webpages. Take a rest now, if required, but you will need to read more.