I strongly favor fostering strong, intimate connections with God. I even have a short book about spiritual growth, titled Developing Your Love Affair with God in which I keep referring to God as ‘your divine lover’. Likewise, I believe in a supernatural God who can surpass our wildest dreams. What, however, if one were to develop sexual feelings for God? Would this be sliding into forbidden territory?

Could a reason for the Creator choosing to reveal himself as God, rather than a Goddess, be because of a weakness in men and boys? Human males seem even more sexually volatile than females, making them more likely than women to slip into sexual fantasies and feelings toward the divine if they thought of God as being the opposite sex. This by no means eliminates every instance, but I suspect that it would make this tendency more prevalent. In reality, God is asexual, and with both genders being in the image of God, he is neither male or female but in one sense none and in another sense both. (Tiny Note).

Nevertheless, some people develop sexual feelings for God. Sex is divinely designed to be deeply bonding. So could there be a positive side to this, or could it be as inappropriate as someone developing sexual feelings for a baby? Could it keep some highly sexualized people from sin, or is it sin itself?

Scriptures speaking of God as our father and Jesus as our brother are too plentiful to even bother listing them. To enjoy a father’s or brother’s love, and even hugs and a kiss on the cheek is sweet. It would sour quickly, of course, if those feelings turned sexual. Suddenly, what was innocent would become incestuous; the beautiful would become hideous and, in the case of the divine, the sacred would be profaned.

In parable after parable, Jesus kept telling of people for whom everything seemed fine until they suddenly realized their foolishness too late. The thought of you, or anyone else, joining them, brings me close to tears.

Many years before I married, an editor of a Christian magazine was moved by my website and began emailing me. She was a single woman and I found myself drawn to her. Then she shared that she masturbates, and that to ensure that she keeps herself pure, she fantasizes about Jesus while doing so.

Had she been living when Jesus walked this planet would, ‘in order to keep herself pure and devoted to Christ,’ she have sought to physically gratify herself with Jesus? Would she have hoped to defile the sinless Son of God by making him her sex partner? Heaven forbid! But isn’t Christ the one who insisted that the deliberate thought is as evil as the act (Scriptures)? Is morality somehow reversed now that the terrifyingly holy Lord has risen and is glorified more than ever (Scriptures)?

Actually, when the writer of Revelation saw his risen Savior, he fell, not into an embrace, but to the ground (Revelation 1:17). This was the reaction of the man often identified as the disciple “whom Jesus loved,” who “was leaning against Jesus’ breast” (reclining close to him is how many versions put it) during the Last Supper (John 13:23).

To my despair, this precious woman was too engrossed in her addiction to see any danger. We parted company.

Don’t for a millisecond suppose I don’t understand.

I know all too well what it is to love God with every fiber of my being, while simultaneously being torturously lonely for human companionship and having an incessant, highly inflamed, almost uncontrollable sex drive that rages year after endless year. I know what it is to be desperate to convince myself I could find some pure, spiritually legitimate way of finding some relief from the never-ending agony.

Desperate for marriage from my very early teens; forever aching for feminine companionship, ramped up to fever pitch by abysmally low self-esteem that made me feel spurned by every woman, I was challenged by God that, if I chose, he would provide a wife and give me his full blessing, but that he would end up receiving slightly more glory if I remained single. Faced with this dilemma, I literally wanted to die. That feeling of devastation, and of life not being worth living, persisted for years and years. Nevertheless, I was resolute: I chose whatever most gives God glory, no matter how intense and prolonged the torment. It was so agonizing that I thought it would have to result in either physical or mental illness.

Only when I was in my mid-fifties did I finally receive word from my Lord that I could now marry and without it even slightly compromising my commitment to put God first, even if it killed me.

I am not so arrogant to think that no one but me has known such prolonged anguish over being single. On the other hand, I find it hard to comprehend how anyone’s suffering in this regard could be greater.

We dare not imagine that praying in the name of Jesus guarantees that one is always communing with the real Jesus. Nor does one’s use of Jesus’ name prevent demons from answering incessant prayers that are contrary to God’s heart. Inspired by a genuine apostle, seven priestly sons used Jesus’ name. To their horror, instead of moving the hand of God, their use of Jesus’ name provoked demons to physically attack them (Acts 19:16). It shook the entire community, causing many believers to get serious with Jesus and burn their occult paraphernalia.

Jesus insisted that “many” – yes many – will be so sure of their genuineness that they will tell him on Judgment Day how in his name they prophesied, performed miracles and even cast out demons. Nevertheless, Jesus will be forced to reply, “I never knew you. Depart from me, you who work iniquity,” (Matthew 7:22-23). Despite their reliance on Jesus’ name and being convinced that God was impressed and was powerfully using them, in the eyes of the Holy Judge, they were sinning.

The seven wannabe exorcists in Acts, and the many apparently successful exorcists, prophets and miracle workers, all used Jesus’ name, but the resulting manifestations were not from God.

Asking in Jesus’ name means asking for his sake, not our sake. It means to act as the King of Kings’ representative. That carries grave accountability. Who would want to be in the shoes of an ambassador who presumptuously did something in the President’s name that offended the President? And Jesus is infinitely higher.

To keep on asking in Jesus’ name with selfish or impure motives is to expose ourselves to the possibility of deception. So despicably evil is the one who hunts us like a ravenous lion (1 Peter 5:8) that he sneaks close by, not merely by hugging the shadows but by the audacity of passing himself off as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) – innocent, desirable and godly. Nothing delights this insidious impostor more than tricking the most innocent and devoted of us.

Not even seemingly powerful manifestations from God can be trusted to ensure we are on track. Note, for example, this warning:

Deuteronomy 13:1-3 If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you, and he gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or the wonder comes to pass,  . . . saying, “Let’s go after other gods”  . . . you shall not listen to the words of that prophet, or to that dreamer of dreams; for the Lord your God is testing you, to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. (Emphasis mine.)

Worship other gods? We would never do that! Are you sure? Any ‘God’ who indulges in sin is a false god.

Not even receiving what we ask guarantees that the answer is from God.

New Testament warnings about the danger of Christians being spiritually deceived are alarmingly numerous (Scriptures), and with good reason. Dare any of us not take this seriously? The disturbing thing is that no one who is deceived, knows he or she is being deceived.

For decades, I have been privileged to minister to people whose inappropriate upbringing has caused their feelings for their brother, sister or parents to be sexualized. Many were cruelly starved of the safe, non-sexual love every child desperately needs. They are living proof that, as it says in Proverbs 27:7, to the hungry, even the bitter seems sweet. Often their self-esteem was so battered that the only time they received the slightest sense of self-worth was while being exploited as sex objects. For them, boundaries were so blurred that the love that every child needs was indistinguishable from sexual violation and manipulation. This left them highly vulnerable to further exploitation from other opportunists.

I have seen repeatedly how immensely these dear people benefit from the purity and safety of relating closely to a non-sexual God. I’ve even had to resist temptations to be envious of some of their deeply moving and powerful experiences. Their relationship with God is typically as spotlessly pure as it is beautiful and healing. Nevertheless, they must avoid transposing to that sacred relationship any incestuous tendencies amassed through their tragic upbringing.

Even among those of us to whom a predator had no access, far too few have had parents sufficiently warm, available and trustworthy to reach adulthood entirely unscathed. Many of us have been left with unmet cravings that could steer our fantasies in unhealthy directions. We, too, can be more vulnerable that we realize.

Mangled values and a twisted view of life formed during our most impressionable years do not magically reset themselves when one reaches adulthood. Restoration is possible, but it necessitates a deliberate and prolonged process involving facing painful memories that we are sorely tempted to keep buried.

There’s a boundary that should never be crossed that protects the holy from the defiled. If it were crossed, is forgiveness possible? Absolutely. Jesus died for the sins of the [entire] world – no exceptions, provided we genuinely repent and commit (or recommit) ourselves to our Savior.

Nevertheless, if unmarried lovers slip even once into forbidden territory in their physical relationship, self-control thereafter becomes significantly more difficult. Usually, the only way to avoid falling again is to enforce a more restrictive boundary than had previously been necessary. The same is a likely requirement for anyone who has had his or her feelings towards God turn sexual. In relating to God, such people have to be more cautious and guarded than other people.

Sometimes, in order to protect us from overstepping the mark, or to lead us deeper into living by faith rather than feelings, our loving Lord has to back off a little. This can be a delicate, highly confusing time because we so easily get locked into a misconception of what intimacy with the divine looks like. A lack of superficial signs of God’s presence – such as feelings, ‘words’ from God, instant answers to selfish or misdirected prayers – can cause us to misinterpret as punishment, or even abandonment, what is merely a minor course redirection in our walk with God, or a season of learning in order to go even deeper with God.

Good mothers must regularly adjust how they treat their babies as they grow. Infants must eventually be weaned, encouraged to walk, learn to dress themselves, later left at school, and so on. This, of course, is not because a mother has tired of her darling, but because anything else would actually be a form of abuse that would end up handicapping the child.

No matter how much we like being babied, our spiritual welfare must always be top priority of a loving God who continually wants the best for us. This typically offends and bewilders us because what is truly in the best interest of the immature (and, relative to God, we all fit that category) is often a world away from what they imagine.

No one is more understanding than our Lord. He is gentle and patient. Nevertheless, there are things a fearsomely Holy God cannot partner with.

For those whose feelings have been inappropriately sexualized or distorted, the Holy One is forced to walk a tightrope. In fact, some put him in the impossible situation of refusing to believe he loves them unless he were to violate his holiness. They can crave experiences that might be safe for some but for them would turn sexual.

If any of us cross the line and insist on doing something impure, the Holy One will not bend. The disturbing reality, however, is that there are hordes of demons eager to rush into the vacuum and accommodate our desire for physical manifestations, and to give us full assurance that their slimy deception is of God.

I used to surmise that demons would have superhuman intelligence. Through helping someone bound by sex with demons, I discovered they had no need to be. They are able to fog their victims’ minds as effectively as someone stoned on drugs or alcohol.

All the Answers & Support You Need

So far I’ve raised issues but been light on answers and help. That’s about to change.

Now might be the time for an unscrupulous person to slug you for money. I take the ministry divinely entrusted to me far more seriously than that. Everything I do is without charge to you. There is an unavoidable cost, however: the time it takes for prayer and reading.

In a single webpage, no one could hope to give you every answer and all the help you deserve. Nevertheless, for the website as a whole, that is indeed what I strive for. It is huge because most of us have huge needs, and we serve a God who is even bigger. There’s a tiny fraction of the website that is of particular relevance to issues raised above, and the following list is carefully crafted to direct you to it. I urge you to bookmark this page, or record the web address, so that you can keep returning to this list until you have prayerfully completed every one you feel led to explore.

Before anything else, however, I suggest you read the following, prayerfully looking to God to guide you as to which links you visit, and in which order.

    Some people have rarely (often never) had sexual feelings towards God or his eternal Son but nonetheless are plagued by sexual images or thoughts about God, simply because the more one hates or fears thinking of something, the more one gets locked into a vicious circle whereby the act of intensely trying to avoid a thought causes one to focus on that very thought. For help with this, see When a Christian Can’t Stop Thinking Blasphemous Thoughts and links.

    It is devastatingly easy to be envious of other people’s experiences with God and to be left feeling second class. But what if heaven sees things very differently? Thomas, for example, had a uniquely dramatic encounter with the risen Lord, only to be told that those who believe without such an experience are the ones who are truly blessed (John 20:29). What if not receiving physical manifestations of God’s presence means God has greater faith in you than those whose faith has been propped up by the supernatural? What if, in the long term, special signs from God actually end up weakening or delaying faith, rather than strengthening it? What if people having experiences with God that everyone envies, typically end up suffering experiences that no one envies? Things are rarely what they superficially seem. For surprising insights into such matters, see Supernatural Signs of God’s Presence & Blessing.

    Your ability to truly thrive hinges on your awareness of how special you are to God. This is so critical that it is under almost continual spiritual attack. Maintaining and deepening that awareness is the focus of an entire treasury of webpages. Any one of them is likely to move you profoundly and take your walk with God to a higher level. See How Much does God Love Me? Receiving a Personal Revelation of God’s Love for You.

    Unlike most other eras, in many Christian circles today there is an overblown emphasis on feelings. Whilst some people manage to interpret this sanely, it ends up damaging others. Feelings are so easily confused with spiritual reality, and with devastating results. For vital help on this critically important, frequently misunderstood matter, see Are Feelings as Important as we Suppose?

    In the short term, God can seem to favor some people, but things will look staggeringly different after Judgment Day. Are those who have an easy life blessed, or simply more accountable? Why did Jesus keep insisting that those who are truly blessed are the ones currently having a rough time? Could your envy of others, or feeling superior to some, be seriously misplaced? For an eye-opening spiritual adventure, see God Isn’t fair? Follow the links to complete this series.

    Valuable insight into spiritual warfare is found in an astonishing account of a Christian’s shock discovery. What she supposed was merely fantasy was actually sex with real demons. It is not only illuminating, it is most relevant to what we have been discussing even though the demons pretended to be imaginary friends, rather than Christ. Those slimy imposters had been so warm and comforting until she wanted to be free. Then they turned nasty. To learn from her experience and discover how she found relief, see Imaginary Friends who Turned out to be Sex Demons.

    Far more men and woman than is usually realized, desperately need healing from the deep wounds of sex abuse. For a vast source of empathy and support for everyone seduced at a young age or inappropriately treated at any age, see Comfort, Understanding and Healing for Sex Abuse Survivors.

    If Christ came to set us free, how come so many of us are enslaved by sex? For powerful insights and help, see Sexual Addiction: Cause & Cure .

    Can masturbation pervert one’s sexuality? See Christian Masturbation? For still more insights, see the links at the end of the page.

    Do we insult God, and rob ourselves, by treating the Lord of Glory as a spiritual vending machine? For invaluable biblical insights into prayer that are rarely understood today, The Unexpected Joy of Unanswered Prayer is vital reading. The links at the end are also important.

    If you did not find this webpage through visiting Hugs & Kisses from Jesus, it does not say a lot, but you still might like to see it.